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  #1  
Old 08-03-2015
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Unhappy Depression and studying

Hi you guys,

I had to postpone my exam, because my NBMEs and uworld scores weren't nearly where I'd like them to be. It's entirely my fault, because I feel like I wasn't trying hard enough and I want to try harder.
Due to postponing my exam I will be unable to go on internship. (I don't have to do them, but it's just feels so weird - I really have given much effort into getting the people in the hospital to let me go there on the summer, then I had to ask them to move the dates, because of my busy schedule and now I am supposed to tell them that I am not coming.)
I can only postpone the test for 8 weeks before the school starts and I really have a lot of work to do. I am torn between what I should do.
If I don't do the internship (which is 5 weeks btw), I will make some people mad and I am not sure how the people there will look at me.
If I do the internship, I will come home exhausted and even if I'll try to study as much as I can, I know it won't be as good as if I was studying all day long (or took the time to relax or whatever). And I will end up wishing I didn't postpone the exam.
I was thinking that I would try to go there for just one week maybe, a sort of a compromise. But I'm not sure, if that will work.
I can't decide what to do. Could anyone help me, please?
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  #2  
Old 08-03-2015
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So sad, But don't worry I think it's bad luck you tried your best and believe me you ' ll get very good marks,please don't left preparation. Read everyday at any cost.
I did the same mistake and now I am in same boat........ Don't think much more just read read and read
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  #3  
Old 08-03-2015
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One way could be: You do the internship. This way you'll also get a break from studies. Try to study a few hours every day during the internship to keep things on track. Just a few. Don't exhaust yourself. It's for 5 weeks only. Once you're done, come back to your hardcore exam preparation and take the exam in 1-2 months whenever your NBME scores meet your standard!
Good luck
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  #4  
Old 08-04-2015
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san.usmle,
thank you for your answer.
I'm considering it, but the last day I can do step 1 is 9-10 weeks from now. I cannot wait anymore. Sad, but I can't.
Therefore, I have to ask myself how important is 180 hours of my study time out of cca 900 hrs total.
I don't know. I've decided, that if I progress in next two weeks as planned, I will give one week of internship and decide what to do next.
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  #5  
Old 08-04-2015
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I had almost a similar situation , we have similar sort of things as you do a mandatory 4wks (we call it an elective not an internship )
i thought i would give my test wks before , but my nbme was a shock

i decided to postpone , and cancelled my elective and was assigned to so some simple stuff and i put all my effort on studying for the step and just gave mine yesterday , when i cancelled my elective i had some problems too as i got accepted to a competitive speciality
but wouldnt try to impress the consultants on the expense of step1 !

it is up to you never let some one make ur decision but remember step1 is the most important step for US!
I really feel you and wish you gonna make the best decision , may Allah help you
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  #6  
Old 08-04-2015
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Thank you so much for your reply,

I've been stressed out for almost 6 months now, for many reasons really. Last 3.5 months I dedicated to full-time exam preparation. It's not about how much time you spend studying, it's about how you use the time you have on your hands.

Since I postponed my exam, I've been feeling kind of down. Depressed really. I guess it's normal and it gets better during the day, but it's really draining me of the little energy I have left. I think the internship/elective might actually do me some good. I have no idea.

I know that step 1 is the most important step for match. I know all that. And that's why I'm so torn. I know I can do good on step 1 if I study as hard as I can.
I was considering doing just half-time 4hrs instead of 8 would give me enough time to study and maybe reminded my why I'm studying all this **** in the first place.
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